why can't i just be normal? why do i let the stupidest things get the best of me? why do i have to be such a bitch? why do i have to push the most important person in my life away from me and make him hate me more and more everyday? its supposed to be the opposite. im supposed to make him love me more not the opposite. why cant i just stop letting shit that means nothing piss me off? why do i have to have such a short temper? why can't i just be someone that is easy to love/ everything i do or say comes out wrong. nothing i do is correct. i'm just ignored and easy to forget. i cant live without him but i do everything to make him hate me. why am i such a fuck up? i see the things that i do wrong and why i'm a horrible person but i cant even attempt to change it. when i do i just bottle it up and it just explodes causing an even bigger mess.

what the fuck is wrong with me