i fucking hate myself. ugh i dont know what this is doing for me. i really just fucking don't want to breathe anymore. this hurts. it all fucking hurts. regardless of if i drink or drink. regardless of if i don't or not, i always fucking have you on my mine, i always fucking thing of you. i always fucking love you. can i just fast forward to when i dont give a fuck about you anymore? i don't want to care anymore. i just want to cry any die in my room and no one will give a fuck about me but my family. because everyone will just go on living without me. please someone kill me. i'm not strong enough to kill myself. can i get alcohol poisoning and never wake up and have him know that i love him?