i haven't seen or talked to him since my birthday. it's almost been a week. do you even miss me at all? do i ever even come up in your mind? you're too busy texting her every minute of the day to even notice. any time i even think of you or write on this blog i just start crying. i'm not happy anymore. i try to be, i really do. but nothing compares to the happiness i felt when i was with you. i hate this. i hate that i don't know who i am anymore. i hate that i feel like i can't be happy. i hate that i can't go 5 minutes without thinking about you. i hate that nothing is the same anymore. NOTHING. can someone just make me stop caring? make me stop loving him? make me see him in the light that everyone else seems to see him in? can i see that i "deserve" better? can i just move on and stop loving him with everything i have?