so i'm kinda late on todays post. i realize how much i laugh when i'm with my coworkers and with my friends. i miss those stomach pains from laughing so hard. it's really nice. i like who i am when i'm around them. although, sometimes i'm not always myself, like i try harder to be liked by them, but i feel good when i'm around them. they just make me feel wanted. idk. i think i'm going to try and spend more time with them. it was a lot easier to before having my own house and all. cause it was just like.. a meeting place. everyone knew they could go there and be welcome, or know they had a place to stay. i miss being like.. the center person. i guess that makes me selfish or whatever, i guess i did like the attention. but not so much the attention, just everyone being around. i miss having my parties and being completely worry free. just drinking with my friends made everything better. the feeling of happiness was doubled and it was just fun. some of my favorite memories are with my friends in that house on drunken nights, playing beer pong, blasting music, dancing and just laughing. although it was one of my lowest points and i hope to never be that emotionally unstable again, i had the best memories with friends. i love them so much.