i love that they are passed the point of not writing stuff on each others walls on facebook now. he posted a picture of him and her video chatting "typical monday night". that's awesome. not that i didn't know they did that... but ouch. can i just stop fucking hurting for once when i hear about her? but wow.. that really hurt that he would post that on his page.. i mean, i can't see what she posts to him, but the fact that he put that on his page knowing that i could see it. blah. i dont know what the fuck to do anymore.
maybe i should go see a doctor about depression. cory said the antidepressants didnt help him. but i'm not him. maybe they will help me stop hurting from him so much. i just need to stop thinking all the time about him. my whole mind is consumed with thoughts of him, our past and what our future could be like if he just gave it another chance. but i dont want him to give it another chance if he isn't willing to try so i guess i'm glad he hasn't yet because i know he doesn't want me the same. and that fucking hurts knowing that too. i just don't get why he isn't with her then.. if that's what he wants. is he trying to not be a bad guy by not dating someone new so soon? ugh i dont even fucking know. i just want to die.
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