why the fuck does it hurt so fucking much? i thought i got passed this type of crying. why do i just allow myself to get hurt over and over again? how does he not see how much pain he is causing me? and why is he the only person to make it better? all my friends, all my family say everything to me to make me feel better and help me try and make it okay but its not. why is he the only one i believe? how do i just keep letting him use me? why is it i'd rather be used by him and feel hurt than anything else?

why do we say forever when forever doesn't even exist